Anatomy

Taking anatomy is not as fun as I thought I would be. Just like how I used to think math was fun until I have to do statistics. Spending my time looking at dead bodies and cadavers has further darkened my sense of humour sarcasm. I am making dead jokes here and there. I might have even scarred some people along the way with my zombie jokes. That is not the only change you see, by staying in an enclosed area with deceased beings also made me very dead inside, I feel I may be joining my fellow specimens soon. The need to stay alive is ever increasing since I set my foot into the Gross Anatomy Facility. Taking extra subjects this semester doesn't help my messed up brain either. Overall, I just feel like my pre-frontal lobe is about to explode out of my cranial bones, not even the dura mater can prevent the spillage of my fried grey and white matter. With that, I bid you Galea Aponeurotica.

Signing off,
The me that is about to bite someone off.

Life experience

Home is where the heart is. This statement resonates with me seeing that I have not been home for a year now. I miss my safety net, my comfort zone, my family and friends and my society. Although sometimes my people can act very crazy, it was a familiar kind of craziness that I have grown to be accustomed to. It is dysfunctional, but I could live with that. I still remember how "macho" I was when I left Malaysia in 2015. I told my parents "I would not feel homesick, I won't feel the need to come home ect". Oh well, that machoness slaps me in the face....... HARD. It started with the food, then the weather, the demographic and finally the culture. Who knew Australians are generally more f-ed up than Malaysians..... at least in my opinion. I used to hate our culture which restricts people from "having freedom" as when I was young, freedom is perceived as "I do what I want, I say what I want". However, as I grew up, I realised that kind of freedom is not constructive. I learnt that every action that I've made comes with consequences. I need to think thoroughly before I say a word or show an expression. The need to control myself is ever stronger since I am a scholarship holder, an image for my company and a reflection of my country. I get all the nice benefits of being on sponsorship, but it comes with a price. The price of my so-called freedom. Whenever I want to make a reckless decision, I have to stop and think twice five times before committing to that decision. My life isn't just about myself anymore; it has more people in it. That means, one decision that I have made could potentially affect others. Talk about collateral damages. I don't regret my situation, in fact, I feel that this predicament has forced me to look beyond myself; a learning process that is very much needed in my life.
Enough of rumblings, that's all for today. I am turning 21 very soon, and home is calling. Real food, wait for me, I will be back in 7 days.

What my jobs have taught me

Since I got a job, I have learnt so much. I am so thankful and grateful for the opportunity to work in Australia cause god knows, it is bloody hard for an international student to get a job that has nothing to do with Asian employer. I don't know what good deeds I have done in my past life but I can't even describe how blessed I am. Before I go off the tangent, here are a few things that I have learnt since I got a job.
1.There are many types of humans but it can be simplified into two, kind people and rude people. Dealing with kind customers can make your day but good lord, it only takes 2 to 3 rude homo sapiens to ruin your whole shift. They made me question humanity, for example, they think it is alright to take a full basket of products from the stores and proceed to put the stuff ALL over the stores. Like please, mam' sir, if you have changed your mind on the product, just hand it back to the employees, we can put it away for you. This is not Coles or Kmart, we are in a 50m x 50m store, there is no need for you to chuck the stuff on the floor or beneath the shelves. 
2.From lesson number 1, I have come to realisation that I have to let things go when I am not happy about it. Dealing with 100 customers per shift means I would somehow encounter 2 to 3 uncivilised human beings every 4 days. If I were to get all riled up by their barbaric behaviour, I would need anti-depressant in no time. For my mental well-being, I have learnt to let things slide,
3.Earning my own money teaches me the value of every single dollar. Ever since I began receiving my paycheck, I have developed a habit of comparing everything I want to buy with how many hours it would take me to earn that amount.
4. Always be truthful to myself. Working in customer service means I will have to tell some white lies so that I do not go against the company policy. Personally, I do not like lying but some Machiavellianism is needed to avoid getting myself into trouble with my employer. Every time after I get off my shift, I would reflect on my day, and reminding myself to do good stuff to compensate for my lies.
5. My second job made me realised that I love Chemistry and teaching. Being a PASS leader for Chemistry is the best job I have ever gotten. That being said, I am always happy and smiling when I am leading the PASS class. It helps when UQ pays me very well to do something I am passionate about.

So these are the enlightenments that I have gotten since last December, I am looking forward to challenging myself more. If I can summarise my learning for these past four months, I would say I am improving myself from different aspects and I am proud of my progress.

Signing off,
Antisocial Witch.

2016

Not even 2 months into 2016, I have known so many people in my life suffering from incurable illnesses. My heart breaks every time when someone tells me they are coping with their loved ones ailments. I have been there, the grieving process was hard to overcome. Can't believe I will be going through that again very soon, I am not as expressive as before so I dont know how I will handle the news when it comes.

All these incidents made me realised that tomorrow is not granted to any of us, my life can end anytime, anywhere and in any circumstances. Knowing that, I know I have to appreciate what is given to me and start giving back. Making my existence useful to people who love me (i am not sure there is anyone except my family and close friends cause I have offended so many people) and the society is one of my priorities now. It has come to my realisation that I am one of the many blessed ones in many occasions and I should practise mindfulness and reach out to others. Karma really works and I truly believe you get back what you did. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects in life, I will start enjoying the presence of every single good thing that comes into my life. So if you are reading this, thank you for being in my life, I have gained something useful from your presence in my life.

Death humbles me.

Love,
Ying Huei.

Bye 2015

This will be my last post for 2015. It has been a roller coaster ride throughout the year, and I am glad it is coming to an end. I have experienced some pretty wild experiences this year because of my move to Down Under. Some of them are incredible and beyond words, but I have also gone through some shitty stuff. I never dreamt that my life would have any drastic adjustments when I packed my 20 years into 2 suitcases and gosh, I was WRONG.

Being in university was alright for me but living with non-Malaysians has certainly pushed my tolerance level. I have learnt to embrace the wild western culture that I will never experience if I am in Malaysia. Nonetheless, I embraced it with disbelief and humour. To be honest, living with people from around the world can be fun and engaging. I would do that again if I am given a chance again.

Next, this year I have learnt that when life throws you lemons, you need to squeeze the vitamin C out of them before throwing the squeezed lemon back to the sucker. I have come to terms that shit can happen anytime despite how much prevention I have done so the only solution to overcome this is to learn to accept. Like what Sheryl Sandberg said in her book, done is better than perfect. Learning to swallow the bitterness is hard but it will be better than keeping it in your mouth forever.

Finally, I have met some good friends this year, people that have brightened my days, cheered me up when I felt like crap, pushed me beyond my comfort zone and took the effort to hangout with an antisocial person. I appreciate and cherish their presence in my life. Shoutout to Shannon, Alfred, Engin, Huey Fang, Angie, Jess, Samantha, Jasmine, Sharvesh for being in my life especially Angie and Fang <3.

I will end this year with a smile and hope 2016 will be more rewarding than 2015.

Taekwondo has played an enormous part in 2015 so I am putting a photo of me doing a turning kick on Fraser Island.

An Update.

I honestly do not believe I would ever write on this blog after graduated from INTEC. Nonetheless, I am writing a freaking post on my personal blog, talk about nostalgia.
Life has changed so much since I hit the 20 y/o mark and migrating to Australia for 4 years just accelerates the changes. However, some things will never change such as how non-chinese people attempting to pronounce my chinese name correctly albeit being warned they will fail to do so and me chasing after the perfect score in my academic.

Despite these constants, I have noticed some slight changes in my life. As I grow older, many people start being concerned about my personal life; the "do-you-have-a-boyfriend" phrase just constantly bugs me. It got me very confused because I vividly remember how everyone was discouraging me to be in a relationship while I was in high school and college. I get that some people need to have another person to share their life with but I am actually very happy being with myself. I can even make jokes on my single status because I am not ashamed to be alone; I feel empowered and motivated to handle my own life. Whenever people bombard me with questions about my status, I puzzled. Just because I have been in Australia for 7 months doesn't mean I will have these Australians fawning over me. I ain't no vixen/seductress nor pretty enough to be casting love spells on the opposite sex. In fact, I think my resting bitch face is scaring everyone away. Ask anyone in my course, lectures, tutorials, they all have the same conclusion about me- she is very intimidating (Yes, I scare everyone away by just being me). Lols. Furthermore, I am way too mature for 18-20's tastes cause I am an old soul stuck in a freaking anorexic tall vessel. Enough said, I think if I am a normal guy, I wont ever want to approach this cold witch currently writing the entry. So whoever that is reading this, kindly refrain from asking about my nonexistence boyfriend cause I DON'T HAVE ONE.

My relationship status isnt the only changes though, I have noticed I have changed a lot too. Though many people might disagree with me but I think I have become more bitchy as I grew older. Dont get me wrong, I am very professional when it comes to dealing with strangers but when someone gets on my bad side, I dont tolerate any of their BS; I basically tell them to F-off unlike my rather meek attitude back in the days (*gasp* how rude yinghuei, how rude tsk tsk tsk). As for the "me" hanging out with my friends, I am still that annoying looney psychotic person who runs around with a screw loose, randomly sings and does some weird shit out of a sudden.

I miss home but I am having FUN here with PHYS1171. I have met new friends, hangout with them, made a fool out of myself, crying over the bloody 6 for BIOL1040 (I am a perfectionist #sorrynotsorry) ect ect. Alas, I am glad that I am able to experience new things in Australia. It is normal for me going to sleep every night remembering how fortunate I am to be paid to study.

Signing off,
Antisocial Witch.

Xoxo

World peace

To think that reaching the sky takes hard work,
Not true when you are not thinking like the elites.
To think that achieving your goal needs perseverance,
Again never true when your brain cells vibrate at different frequencies as those sitting on the top.
To think that god is fair to all,
He knows what's the best for you
when His all mighty thinks some of us need more sufferings,
despite you have tried the very best or you are innocent.
What can I say,
I am just a humble living being standing alone,
fighting the brutal waves without any shields,
with guns pointing and bombs surprising me when I least expect,
To be asked questions about things I have never seen.
Thinking again when you say humanity of the world is still intact,
When all I see was blood and tears shade,
because of the skin, the ideology, the power,
confusing humans with non living things,
straying away from the light of compassion,
only be blinded by the pride and dollar signs.
Human lives are pawns for your games,
as long as you stay alive while they die,
everything is fine.
Dont talk about world peace,
dont preach about morality,
when your hands are the ones that end lives
YOU ARE NOT THE SYMBOL OF WORLD PEACE!